IM BACK BITCHES

I would just like to apologize for being gone for so long.  I was across the galaxy fighting a war that will one day determine the fate of this world.  But now I'm back and I really want to smoke some weed and eat as many god damn rolled tacos as I can.  God bless and good luck

True Blood

I'll let you know right now, I believe vampires are real and I don't give a god damn fuck what  you think about it.  I mean they have to real in todays day and age.  Theres some crazy whack ass shit out there and I'm sure theres at least on vampire out there living off blood.  I'm not gonna make any assumptions about whether or not they can live forever but thats their business and whatever ya know.  So basically this show True Blood is the true story of this old guy Bill who just wants some fucking tail.  Theres no shame in his game right? WRONG!!!!! He's a god damn vampire and he fucking murders folks everywhere he goes.  You expect that so its cool.  Anyways you fucks the bitch from X-Men and gets into all sorts of trouble.  Theres a fair about of hot chicks and toplessness so I think anyone who likes naked girls and doing mind altering substances should watch this show.  You don't have to watch it if you don't want to but I'm just letting you know your a fucking dick slapper if you don't.  I'm gonna give this show a solid 4.5 hash bombs out of 6.2 hash bombs which is a very respectable rating for a show that turns the camera away right before you see penetration.

Hoppy Daze

Hoppy Daze by Coronado Brewing Company is today's special beer of choice.  It's pretty fucking bomb. Chicks will also dig it so you'll have a chance at getting them drunk and naked so that adds to the experience of drinking this fine brew! So if you don't like naked chicks and good beer you probably shouldn't drink this.  And even if you don't like naked chicks maybe you like naked dong that's cool.  Dudes like this shit too so go buck wild with it bros!!  Get your closest bro super drunk and then play around with his dong if that's what you're into god bless you.  But even if your not into rape and you just like good beer give this a try its super bomb.  It's brewed on an island that's not even an island so they kinda like to fuck with you just like my favorite show of all time Lost which just so happens to take place on a gnarly island.

The FleshLight

The FleshLight is a fake vagina that you have sex with.





nuff said bitches

Don Carlos Taco Shop

Don Carlos in La Jolla, San Diego, in southern California is the best spot in the god damn free world. If you call yourself an American and have not been to this place you may as well move to Palmdale or Arizona and live out the rest of your days as a dying old wench!!!! Anyways Don Carlos kicks ass and they have the best food in the country. I know what your thinking, the whole country? Yes! FUCK YES!!!! In all of the entire united states of America this is the best food you can find. Even if you don't eat meat there's still bomb ass shit there for you so it's all good for everyone!! So even fucking vegetarians can enjoy DC without everyone thinking they're a pussy. I'd recommend a few items from the menu but everything there is bomb as fuck. I'd drink the green sauce straight if they let me. And you get the potato rolled tacos it'll change your life in a positive fashion I promise you. Im not even going to rate DC cuz there's no sort of scale that our febel human minds can relate to that would make any sense. So I'll just say that DC is bomb as motherfucking shit and you should go there as soon as you can. I love you and good bye.

Mad Men

Mad Men is pretty sick if your into busty redheads, drinking all day long at work, cheating on your wife, and pissing on couches then this show is for you. The show is based around Don Drapers life and he just fucks bitches all day long. The show never discusses what his occupation is but I'm guessing he's some sort of clergyman. This show also has an ample amount of ass for all your perverts out there. There's also a fair amount of rascism in this show that is rather depressing at times. The dude that writes the show, his name is wiener. I'm on season four right now I think and so far I have no fucking clue what is going on but all the pretty girls and the fancy talking has got me still watching. That and the fact that I've been drinking a 30 pack of fourlokos before noon everyday for the past 3 weeks. If this review doesn't help you then you can officially go fuck yourself cuz this was great. On a ranking scale of 1 to 10 bongloads with 10 being the highest I'd rank this motherfucker an 8.8. I think that's a pretty good score considering nothing really ever happens and there's no nudity or hardcore violence or swearing. But anyways fuck you!!!!! No I'm just playin dawg.

The Darkness II

The Darkness 2 is probably the craziest fucking game I've ever played! And y'all know I play some whack ass weird games. But anyways I'm high as balls right now so whatever. The Darkness is about some legend named Kyle Hollis that gets involved with the mafia. Let's just say things don't quite go according to young kyles's plan for he gets raped and possessed by a demon called "THE DARKNESS" so sucks for him. You get to control these iguana looking fuckers that just tear motherfuckers apart so that's cool. You also have a little goblin following you around everywhere and he pisses on all the dudes that you slaughter so that's another cool tidbit I thought. There is also tits in this game and plenty of swear words for all my loser Mormon followers out there. I thought all around this game was sick as fuck and you should play it high high high as balls. I love all of you